I got this from a childhood friend. Why can the Hosp. tell them they have to sign a DNR or they won't move Pop? I thought a DNR was supposed to be a voluntary thing, not you do it or we won't move?
That they're asking for a DNR before they move him suggests that they're moving him into a hospice facility. Private insurances will only pay for six months of hospice care. The VA and medicare will pay indefinitely, but will audit the hospice provider every time a patient lives past six months. That's why they ask for the DNR, since hospice is designed as a way for people to die with peace and dignity and for the families to adjust well. Whoever is making the decisions for your friend's dad doesn't have to send him to hospice. They can send him to a different facility. The warning, though, is that if the doctors/nurses are offering hospice then they don't think he'll be around for more than a few months. Hospice provides the most benefits to the patient and family if they can be in it at least a couple months. No one wants to accept the loss of a loved one. I am sure your friend's dad has thought plenty about his own mortality and how he wants his death to be. He won't be surprised when someone brings up DNR and if he's lucid there's a good chance he'll want to discuss it. If you've never seen resuscitation then it's hard to imagine just how traumatic it is. It's very invasive. When it's over, there will be tubes coming out of every place they can fit one and they'll even make some holes for a few more. It's not pretty. I don't think anyone would want that to be their last memory of a loved one. And, even after they resuscitate him, he's not going to be in as good of shape as he was before. He won't be magically rejuvenated. The dying process is a natural part of life.
I agree with DNR's, I just couldn't figure out why they gave the family an ultimatum like that. Thank you both for enlightening me. My friend is living with his parent's to care for them, both are disabled before this. I don't know how he works full time and cares for them both too. I can see why he is refusing to acknowledge all This.
